Relationship

Hi,


This month is a very hectic, very challenging month.

It felt like I've been tested with various challenges. Works-relationship-and I have to dealt with my own feeling.

It's funny seeing me become a monster. Out of control.
Funny yet scary.

It feels like my anger triggered even with a simple issue, which can be solved in a blink.
I can be mad at everything.

I throw my tantrum at B and at everybody.

Still clear in my mind on that moment, where I think, B got his own issue and I still want some attention. I'm such a freak!
I hate myself for being inpatient, for being selfish.

So, today, I took some time to sat alone on the couch, and think. What would I feel if people get mad at me, without any reason. It would hurt me.
By putting myself into other's shoe, I do realize that what am I doing is wrong.

So, I've decided to lower my ego, and start to seek apology.

The Sept 14

Boohooo !

My first post after announcing that I am back to blogging world last month . Thought that I'm going to post regularly; but my supposition is wrong. Nothing much happens to me, and got nothing to write. So, I leave my blog empty without any updates then.

Anyway, there's a lot of thing happens today. And I have learnt a lot too!
Some people said that something is better to be kept as personal, but I insisted to share the story here.

I leave my home at 7.45 today, and wish to have my breakfast with someone special. He's going to travel somewhere, so it feels like I should spend our last second together. He sends me off to work today,but still, I wish I could spend my time (even for a while) with him. Despite of my excitement over my plan earlier, suddenly he told me that he can't make it. Danggggg! The first situation. 

I am so selfish for not understanding his condition/situation and insist to be treated well. Well, am I have any substantiation that proving he's not treating me well? I let myself to be in a deep thought just now. Nope. He treated me well all the time and I shall be thankful for that. Where will I found someone like him though? I keep telling myself to not being selfish and have the courtesy to tolerate.

My point is it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to feel sad and it's okay if you could not hold back your tears. You even can cry to relieve your sadness. But, once you have calmed, think back, and do some self-reflection. Place yourself in their shoe. I am so sorry, but too shy to apologize. So, to that "someone", if you read this, please forgive me.

I got a lot to be shared, but I am pretty sleepy right now. I'm gonna update this blog tomorrow.

Dearest  B,
Take care and be safe.
Love you.





XOXO,
Juerolley

Starting again

I was sat on the couch and do nothing. Apparently, I need to find something to be done. Well at least, to ditch the boredom away. I have watched most of the movies in Iflix and  I'm not in the mood of reading right now. To get away from the boredom, I scrolled over my phone gallery; watching videos and photos. That's it. No other fun things to be done.While I was plagued by the tedium, I thought maybe I can do some "file sorting" in my laptop. Scrolling over files and folder and..naah. Nothing to be sorted though. So, I thought maybe I could read news online since I'm not a fan of "berita tv".I was browsing over internet, and reading articles and news online, browsing over blogs and I started missing my teenage years, where I spent most of my nights writing. I always told myself to not to write again. I have a lot of other thing to be prioritized. But then... I just love to write. I even kept a book, where all my thought and feeling was written in.






So, I have decided to restart again.






xoxo
Juerolley